


The People We Meet At the End of the World

by auroraphilealis (xrosepetalsx), notanannoyingfangirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Character Death, Dust Bowl, Getting Together, Great Depression, M/M, Phandom Big Bang 2015, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 21:00:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/auroraphilealis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 1934, and the Great Depression is in full swing. Seven years previously, Phil Lester’s family had come to America hoping to find their fortune; what they found instead was much worse. Forced to ride the rails in search of work, Phil meets up with Dan Howell. The two brits are alone in a foreign country, separated from their families after they lost their life savings in the stock market crash. Together, they decide to find work out west - but the west has problems of its own. The dust storms are raging, and every day has become a desperate struggle for survival.</p><p>Nominated for <a href="https://polldaddy.com/poll/8278082/">Emotional Wreck Award</a> <a href="http://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/113541935645/phanfic-awards-2015-nominations">phanficawards 2015</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	The People We Meet At the End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> Notanannoyingfangirl: Well, guys, it’s been a long time coming, but our PBB fic is finally finished. I know that you’re probably excited to read part one, so I won’t say to much. Thank you to all of the wonderful Mods who worked so hard to organize the PBB, they did a wonderful job. Also, thank you to the wonderful artist and beta who worked with us on this - you did a wonderful job! Finally, thank you to my lovely co-author because writing with her is always a pleasure and this story would have never happened without her!
> 
> Insanityplaysfics: Hey guys! Eliza hre. You can’t imagine the journey I’ve been on with this PBB fic, and my other one, but I really just want to thank my amazing beta for always having sweet things to say, and just doing such a great job keeping this all beautiful and edited. I also want to thank Kate for being the best co-author ever, and for working with me so hard this summer. I know we’ve both been over the moon busy since September hit, and especially down through October, trying to make this thing perfect, so thank you thank you thank you for being the most awesome co-author ever. Last but not least, of course I would like to thank the nearly 3K of you that follow me and have supported me these past few months. There haven’t been many updates, but I’m hoping these next two PBB fics will make up for that <3 Enjoy! And here’s your friendly reminder that the phanfic awards exist, and if you liked this fic, you could give it a cheeky nom <3
> 
> Extra special thanks to our artist [Scofflawn](http://scofflawn.tumblr.com) for the super amazing artwork she drew for us, which you can find here ([x](http://scofflawn.tumblr.com/image/131864703792))!

_September 18, 1927_

Phillip Lester was sixteen years old when his parents decided they were moving to America to try their fortune. The announcement came seemingly out of the blue on a cheery Friday morning:

“What do you _mean_ , we’re moving!?'

“Things are better in America, Phil, and your father has already accepted a position selling bonds. If all goes well, we’ll even be able to send you to college!”

“But my _life_ is here!” Phil screeched, heart beating wildly in his chest, his mum staring sadly at him from his doorway. “You can’t just uproot me!”

“I know it’s hard honey, but the decision’s already been made. Start packing your things. We have to be gone by Monday.”

“What about school? And my friends?”

“You’ve already been unenrolled, as of yesterday. And you can say goodbye to your friends once you’ve finished packing. But for now, honey, just...please don’t argue.”

Phil never got a chance to say goodbye to his friends.

By Monday, his family’s entire life had been packed away, and they’d hopped on a plane to New York at 6AM with one bag of luggage each between them, and a carry on that sat heavy on their backs.

They didn’t take much - clothes and essentials packed away in their luggage, and useful or valuable objects packed away in their carry ons. Everything else had been left behind with family or dropped off at a charity bin, leaving the four members of the Lester family to start over completely.

Phil didn’t think things could get any worse.

His only consolation was the fact that packed away at the very bottom of his luggage was a tiny stuffed bear his brother had given him when he was ten, as a last minute birthday gift that Phil hadn’t been able to give up for the world. It was the last familiar thing he’d felt he’d had, and it fit almost perfectly in the palm of his hand. It’s fur was soft and delicate, fraying off in certain sections from age and neglect, but Phil continued to adore it.

He hadn’t been meant to bring anything along that wasn’t useful, or able to be sold, but he’d snuck the tiny toy along with him anyway.

By 1929, he’d appreciate that fact.

\--

_June 14, 1929_

By the time Phil had turned eighteen, everything was different. His parents had been investing all of their earnings into the Stock Market for the last two years, surviving on the bare minimum and struggling to put Phil through school.

Promises of sending Phil to college had been long forgotten as both Phil’s older brother Martin and their father worked to support their family, traveling day by day with informational booklets stacked in their bags.

Put back a year and a half due to the sudden change in high schools, Phil was barely on track to graduate before he turned nineteen in January.

That would never happen.

“Son, we don’t think we’re going to be able to send you back to school this coming Fall.”

Phil’s jaw dropped open in shock and disappointment. He couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that ripped through his heart at the words.

“I understand,” he replied as he hung his head, even though he didn’t.

His dad clapped him gently on the shoulder, a sad smile stretching out under tired eyes.

“But I think I’ll be able to secure you a job with my boss.”

Phil could do nothing but smile and nod appreciatively.

That night, he mourned all that he’d lost, wishing his parents had never taken them from home.

\--

_October 28, 1929_

On the morning of October 28th, all hell broke lose.

Phil never even got the chance to leave for work. He was waylaid by the sight of his Mum crying into a handkerchief at 9am.

“Mum? Mum, what’s happened?”

“It’s gone, Phil. We’ve lost everything!” she cried, eyes red as she blotted at her face with a tissue. Phil didn’t know how to respond, wide eyed and confused as he tried to understand what was going on.

“What do you mean?”

“The stock market! It’s crashed!” she said, wailing as Phil worked to take the words in.

“But - that’s not-”

“It’s crashed, and we’ve lost everything! All our money, all our savings! All down the drain!”

Phil’s stomach turned, and he barely made it to the sink before he was vomitting.

\--

_June 21, 1927_

Daniel Howell could hardly contain his excitement. The harsh grey of foggy London had been left long behind; before him stretched New York City in all it's grandeur. It was a fresh start, no one knew who he was. Behind him, his mother and father were climbing into a car - no doubt planning to ruin any fun he might have in the new city, but Dan could hardly bring himself to care as he was meant to start at a nearby boarding school the following year. His parents would have little control over him there. He was young, having just turned eleven, but was already excited about the prospect of potential freedom.

Finally he turned to join his parents in the car, tugging on his hat. His little brother gave him a toothy grin as Dan slid into the seat next to him, though apparently only the two boys were excited for their new life to begin. Dan's parents were conversing in hushed tones, though Dan could still hear every word.

"This will be good for us, Heather, we really have a chance to earn back our fortune over here."

"We wouldn't have to earn anything back if you hadn't gambled it away in the first place," his mother hissed. "Honestly, Ted, this plan of yours had better work."

"It will, trust me. The stock market is a sure thing."

\--

_October 30, 1929_

The stock market was _not_ a sure thing. It had crashed two days ago - sending Dan's family, who had been struggling long before they lost their savings, thousands of dollars into debt. Dan had been pulled out of boarding school after only a year his father had gambled most of their money that wasn't invested away a handful of months after arriving in New York City.

His younger brother worked selling papers. He was only ten years old. Dan, himself, had been working different jobs on and off for the past few years. But now, no one was hiring.

The dust had settled, businesses everywhere were closing. Families were losing their homes, losing money they never really had in the first place.

They shouldn't have come to America.

The stock market was not a sure thing.

\--

_November 1, 1929_

Dan leaned back, letting his back rest against the hard brick wall. He had just been turned down on another job interview. He didn't know what he was going to do, his family couldn't stay afloat. Dan knew they were going to lose the house. Any day now the bank would come and put one of those damn foreclosure signs in their front yard.

His family couldn't live on the street, his ten year old brother couldn't live on the street. Out of the corner of his eye, Dan saw a train rush by on the nearby tracks. A boy probably his age ran beside it, before he jumped and hauled himself into the empty car.

Maybe that boy had the right idea, maybe Dan should get the hell out of the city. There had to be jobs somewhere.

\--

_September 19, 1931_

It had been a long three years. At twenty years old, Phil was lucky to have the job he did, mucking about in the fields of Kentucky. It had been a long time since he’d seen his family. He’d left them behind in New York, his eldest brother having moved down into New Jersey looking for work, while Phil wondered further West. They both had strict orders to send their paychecks home, and they had. Or, at least, Phil had, up until they’d started coming back with a “return to sender” stamp pressed against the front.

Phil didn’t know what had happened to his parents over the three years he’d been gone. He didn’t even know what had happened to his brother. He could only hope for their well being as he worked the field, staying in the small barn of his host family.

They’d kept him around for the last year and a half, after his last job had gone sour. He didn’t have a paycheck, here. Just nice meals, and boarding. It wasn’t the best boarding, but it was boarding, and now that what they were calling The Great Depression had hit, Phil was lucky enough to have what he did.

So he didn’t complain. He slept with the cows, with a pile of hay as his only pillow, and a thin blanket to keep him warm. The ranch style house his host family had was just large enough to host their two sons and daughter, and themselves, so he felt no animosity towards them. They were doing all they could for him, hearts going out to him for the loss of his own family.

He appreciated them. And he worked hard for them.

The tiny stuffed bear his brother had given to him as a kid was his only remaining possession, as were his three pairs of clothes. The rest he’d taken with him three years ago had all grown old - raggedy and unwearable. What he had left was nearly too small, for all that he’d grown. But it would do. It had to do. The price of clothes was almost as terrifying as the price of food.

Phil had ridden the rails for a year before he’d gotten steady employment in Rhode Island. It’d only lasted six months before he was off again, but Phil didn’t miss it. He’d hated the factory he’d worked for, and their wages hadn’t been fair.

He could only hope that, with the recession increasing and prices continuing to inflate, he wouldn’t lose his current home.

\--

_December 18, 1933_

He had. By the end of his second year with the Whites, they’d gone bankrupt. Their farm could no longer sustain them, let alone a stow away in their barn, and so they had to let him go. For a short while, Phil had ridden the rails with their two sons, but they’d got separated somewhere between Georgia and Alabama.

By Mid-December, Phil had made it to Mississippi. Northern Mississippi was freezing cold, especially at night. With no permanent jobs to call his own anymore, most nights Phil slept outside with other working folk, huddled together for warmth. He became friends with those around him. They brought him news of steady employment - which often meant “one week’s paid work, and free food!” - and Phil repaid them with news of his own. They looked out for each other, for a little while.

Then the winter storms began to hit, and they were separated. Phil decided it was time to leave.

At 6 o’clock in the morning, he pulled himself out from underneath the dumpster he’d slept under, and headed for the railroad tracks. His back ached from the cold and the hard floor, but his mind was sharp with determination. One of his sources had told him a cargo train would be making it’s way through mid-town around 7am.

Phil didn’t want to be late.

As he made the trudge to the nearly empty part of town, his fingers played with the soft fur of the tiny bear in his pocket. He was careful to keep it in the one without a hole, his money tucked away in the pair of socks he was currently wearing. They were the only thing he had left without a hole, and the only truly safe place he had left to keep anything of value anymore.

He came across a river bank, soon enough, and could see the rising sun glint off the railroad tracks in the distance. There was one other boy that he could see from here waiting huddled against the river bank, just out of view of the conductors for when they first whisked by.

Phil squared his shoulders, and hoped for the best as he made to sit near him.

You never knew who was going to try and steal from you out here, after all.

\--

_September 2, 1931_

Dan's hands were bleeding, his shoes didn't fit, and he was very slowly starving to death. Still, he was a lot luckier than most. He had found a small town where the locals were usually kind enough to give him some kind of payment in return for helping with the fields or housework. Usually the payment came in the forms of a place to sleep or a bowl of soup for dinner, but Dan wasn't going to complain. It might be a far cry from what he was used to, but it was plenty more than he had any reason to expect.

He was only sixteen years old, but he felt decades older 

He didn't know what had happened to his younger brother, or his parents. He had run away from home, and he hadn't looked back. Sometimes, when it was dark outside and he allowed himself to think about what might have happened to them, he regretted leaving them. However, when the sun rose, his regret faded to simply feeling lucky that he was alive.

\--

_December 22, 1931_

It was almost Christmas, but the holiday no longer brought joy to Dan as it once had. Instead it meant no more fields to work in, no more locals happy to share what little they had. Now Christmas meant debating stealing a new pair of socks so that he wouldn't lose his toes.

He should leave this town before things get any worse, before the people he had grown close with turned against having an extra mouth to feed.

The snow was cold, and he needed new gloves and socks and a jacket... maybe Father Christmas would bring him some extra layers this year.

Some of the locals were trying to make the best of it, and while Dan appreciated it, he couldn't find it in himself to celebrate. It wasn't Christmas without his family. Instead of feeling... festive, Dan just felt lonely.

It would be time to move on soon.

\--

_December 18, 1933_

It was cold, waiting for the train, but Dan had heard the stories. Dan still wasn't exactly sure where he was, maybe somewhere in Mississippi. But he had heard the whispers of a cargo train coming and he didn't want to miss it. Who knew when the next one would be coming along.

The wind was cold and biting, and Dan sat near the river's edge. Near enough he could jump onto the train as it rolled past, but hidden enough so that the conductors couldn't see him.

Shivering, his teeth chattering, Dan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He heard the footsteps behind him, but he didn't turn around. He'd gotten reckless lately, not bothering to make sure that people were trustworthy. If someone wanted his stuff bad enough to kill for it, well, he wasn't going to stop them.

The person settled themself down next to him, and Dan glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.

A boy, probably a little older than he was, was sitting next to him. He had a hat pulled low over his face and his clothes were a mess of patchwork repairs and holes. Dan liked him instantly.

Shuffling around, Dan offered a dirty, grimy hand to the boy. "I'm Dan."

\--

_December 18, 1933_

Phil startled as the boy he’d sat next to turned and offered him his hand, introducing himself with a small smile gracing his dirty features. He wasn’t wearing a hat, so his ears were red and obviously cold. His hair was a long, unkempt, curly brown mess on top of his head, and the roundness of his cheeks told Phil just how young he was.

There was something genuine about his timid smile though, and his dark brown eyes, that convinced Phil to reach out and take his hand. “Phil,” he greeted, offering his own timid smile. “What are you doing out here?”

“Come to catch the train. Heard rumors of work farther West. You?”

“Same,” Phil agreed, taking note of the unforgettable accent the boy clearly had. “You from England?” he asked, curious as he picked at a hole in his jeans.

Dan nodded. “You?”

“Yeah. Moved down when I was sixteen,” Phil said, effectively ending the conversation as Dan turned away with a small nod of understanding.

The air was stiff and uncomfortable between them. Despite it being clear that neither boy meant the other harm, they were also strangers. Phil was hardly a sociable person, out of fear of getting caught up with the wrong group of people, or being backstabbed by someone he’d considered a friend. It didn’t help that friendships were hard to maintain in a time like this, when your friend could get a job somewhere with someone and disappear from your life completely, without even a word of goodbye.

No. It was just easier to be alone. Despite the uncomfortableness of the situation, and Phil’s desire to keep himself distanced from those around him, he couldn’t help flicking his gaze to Dan now and then. He had nothing better to do, and he couldn’t deny that the mind numbingness of early morning left him curious. Besides, the boy next to him just looked so small and young next to Phil that he couldn’t help feeling that natural instinct to want to protect him.

Phil didn’t usually find boys younger than himself riding the rails, after all - especially not alone. As strange as it sounded, the younger boys were usually the more sought after, if they didn’t have someone older and wiser looking out for them. It was easy to get a job when you still had immature fingers, and a small body to fit through areas you probably didn’t belong. Factories ate little boys like Dan up.

As Phil watched Dan, he took in the way the dirt that covered his face had spread all the way down the back of his neck and into the collar of his shirt in a way only grime could accumulate over a long period of time. He wondered when the last time Dan had had a shower was, or even a place to stay for that matter, and thought about what that could mean for him. He probably had very little money on him, but he at least looked to be in one piece, which was more than could be said for even some of the older folk who’d been wrapped up into the wrong kind of work.

Dan was clearly a survivor, just like Phil. He watched Dan shiver, and having nothing else to offer besides his hat, Phil took it off and offered it to him, nudging his shoulder with the brim.

“Here. Looks like you need this more than I do at the moment,” he explained. Dan appeared surprised as he turned and accepted it, but then he was offering Phil a toothy smile in thanks that made Phil feel like he’d done something right for the first time in months.

“Thanks, mate! I’ll get it back to you before you jump off the train, promise!” he declared, pulling the fabric on and over his ears happily. He hummed a jaunty tune, as if this one act of kindness had changed his life for the better, and Phil grinned to himself.

They were quiet again, Phil staring off ahead of him the same as Dan. He rested his back against the wall of the ditch they were sat in, and listened for the train. It had yet to arrive, but Phil wasn’t even sure of the actual time, and from his vantage point against the ground, he knew he’d feel it coming when it was still miles away.

“I was twelve when my parents moved us here,” Dan suddenly spoke up, and Phil turned, surprised. “Did your parents take you here because of the Stock Market, too?” he asked. Phil sighed, and nodded.

“Yeah. So much for being a sure thing, right?” Phil asked. He laughed derisively. “Probably never imagined their children would be out riding the rails for a living, did they?”

Dan laughed too. The sound was nice, in the harsh cold of the morning. It was nice to hear the sound coming from such a young boy in such a harsh world.

“How old are you now, then?” Phil asked. “I’d hazard a guess at around seventeen.”

“Close. I’m eighteen,” Dan declared proudly, surprising Phil.

“You look so young! If I’m being honest, seventeen was being nice.”

They both laughed. Phil watched Dan shift closer to him, and smiled encouragingly.

“That’s what the factory owners say as well, when they’re recruiting,” Dan explained. “But I’m too smart for them. One mention of my ‘bum leg’ and they’re off like a light!” he said, laughing. “I’ve heard the horror stories. Not gonna get myself caught up in that kind of thing.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Probably worse off in a factory somewhere than out on the streets, even in the dead of winter,” Phil agreed. Both boys relaxed, breathing in the cool morning air. Phil felt safe enough, even, to close his eyes for a moment. Movement beside him had them snapping back open though, and he was surprised to find Dan had scooted closer.

“I know we just met and all, but it’s freezing. Could we…?” There was a light blush on Dan’s cheeks from the question, but Phil just opened his arms and nodded, inviting the younger boy in for a cuddle. He was right. It was freezing, and it wasn’t unusual in these times for complete strangers to huddle for warmth. Dan moved into his embrace appreciatively, and Phil sighed at the light warmth he brought with him.

They talked quietly, voices hushed due to their close proximity. Dan’s head rested against Phil’s chest, and he wondered what they must look like - two young boys, one younger than the other, holding onto each other like their lives depended on it. Their lives probably did depend upon it, in this weather. Maybe they even looked like brothers, and though they’d probably never see each other again after today, Phil was comforted by that thought.

Just a moment, in this world, of not being completely alone.

“What happened to your family?” Phil asked, curious.

“Don’t know. I left ‘em behind. My little brother was enough of a burden on my parents, after the stock market crash,” he said. He had a kind of wistful look on his face as he spoke. “I hope they’re doing better now, though, or that my brother found work,” he explained. “Obviously I care about them, but my Pa’s got a gambling problem, and I didn’t see anything working out for any of us if we stayed together.”

Phil nodded in understanding. It had become a dog eat dog world, fighting for survival, and if you weren’t a burden on your parents, they were a burden on you. Phil still thought of his own family, from time to time, but mostly the work he did was so mind numbing, that he thought of nothing at all.

“I used to send my paychecks home, until they started getting sent back,” Phil confessed. “But now I’m a lone wolf,” he said, laughing, “Just like you.” He didn’t want to admit it, but the burden being off his shoulders had been a great relief, so he understand all too well Dan having run from his own family.

He did some quick calculations in his head to figure out when that might have been, and furrowed his brows as he realized Dan must have been only fourteen when the stock market crash occurred.

“How are you alive?” he wondered, quietly.

“Hm?” Dan asked.

“You couldn’t have been more than fourteen when the stock market crash happened.”

Dan shrugged as they both felt the slow rumble of the train start up. It was still faint, and obviously far off, so neither boy moved to pull apart or to get ready to hop into one of the cargo cars.

“I’m smart,” was his only explanation, and Phil had to give that to him as they settled into another quiet reprieve. Growing uncomfortable, but afraid to move, Phil shifted so he could pull his arm out from under Dan. The boy shifted with him, and Phil better settled his arm around Dan’s shoulders. Dan’s face fell back into the crook of his neck, and Phil couldn’t help that he shivered from something other than the cold when Dan’s breath puffed against him.

Eventually, the train arrived, and both boys pulled away to huddle at the very top of the river bank, faces peering over the side.

They glanced at each other as the train whisked by, nodding before they both scrambled over the bank and made a run for it.

\--

They weren’t meant to stay on the train for more than one day. They weren’t meant to get caught, or noticed, after all, but they both fell asleep halfway through the trip behind a stack of crates, curled into one another. At first, Phil had stayed awake, surprised to find Dan had felt comfortable enough to actually fall asleep against Phil’s shoulder. But as the train trundled on, Phil picked up Dan’s slight figure, and brought them both behind a crate so they wouldn't be seen, feeling his own eyelids drooping.

The next thing he knew, he was being woken up by two men who looked nearly as grimy as Dan and Phil themselves. Phil startled awake, panicking and tightening his hold around Dan in an attempt to protect the young boy he’d only recently gotten to know.

The two men brought their fingers to their mouths and shook their heads, glancing behind themselves to inform Phil that a security check was currently happening, and Phil tensed again, realizing it had grown dark out.

The movement of his muscles must have woken up Dan, because in the next moment, Phil could feel him starting to stir. Panicking more, Phil brought his hand to Dan’s mouth to prevent him from making any noise, and then forcibly turned his head so he’d be staring at Phil when he blinked his eyes open.

Brown met blue, and Phil widened his eyes in warning and alarm, shaking his head at Dan as the other boys breathing started to grow ragged against Phil’s skin. He forced Dan’s gaze to remain on him as the two men who’d woken them up crawled into the tiny space Phil had crammed them into earlier, dragging a crate as silently as possibly closer to hide them better.

Phil allowed them to fit in against him and Dan, resting his forehead against Dan’s as a pair of flashlights lit up the cart they were in, closing his eyes and hoping Dan would take the hint to do so as well. Dan’s ragged breathing continued to puff against Phil’s hand as they waited to find out if they were going to get caught or not.

After a few tense moments, the light burning behind Phil’s eyes disappeared, and he cracked open an eye to find the men appeared to be gone. Still, he held onto Dan, cooing as softly as possible into his ear to calm the racing heart he could feel against in his own chest.

Eventually, the train began to rumble on again, and the two men who’d joined them sighed and pushed the crate away. Phil’s hand fell away from Dan’s mouth, allowing the other boy to take in great lungfuls of air as he pulled away from Phil as well.

“Hiya boys. Looks like you fell asleep too,” one of the two men started, unfurling his body to sit propped up against one of the walls near them. The other man stayed standing, eyeing Dan and Phil warily.

“Yeah. It was a cold day. Easy to fall asleep on the trains,” Phil responded, pushing Dan behind him in case this turned into some kind of fight.

The first man chuckled. “Calm down, mate. Name’s Ashens, and judging from your accent, you’re from England too,” he said, pulling out a pipe and lighting it with a match from his coat pocket. Phil wrinkled his nose at the smell that immediately filled the room they were in. “Just our luck, moving out here in time for a market crash,” he said, eyeing Phil’s stance. “We aren’t going to rob you, promise. My partner’s just a bit antsy, is all. Ignore him.”

Phil relaxed at that, but only slightly, remaining on his guard in case the man was lying. Behind him, Dan moved back front and center, eyes wide, presumably at meeting more Englanders.

“So where you boys headed, anyway?” Ashens asked, puffing at his pipe.

“West,” Phil responded before Dan could, hoping the other would take the hint and keep his mouth shut for now. Ashens’ unnamed friend was still eyeing him up in particular, and it was making Phil feel uncomfortable. He was already feeling responsible for this boy, and he couldn’t let anything happen to him.

“Just West? Nowhere in particular, then?” Ashens inquired, arching a brow at the two. Phil shook his head, taking Dan’s wrist in his, meaning to jump off the train and take Dan with him if there were any problems.

“He your boyfriend, or somethin’?” the second man asked suddenly, glaring at the two and taking an aggressive step forward.

“Brother,” Phil replied quickly, glad when Dan didn’t contest him, only nodded his head instead.

The second man backed down at that, moving to sit with Ashens now in a more relaxed position, though he was still eyeing Dan and Phil warily. Ashens, meanwhile, was smiling.

“Heard there's good jobs in Oklahoma. That’s where we’re getting off. Feel free to get off with us, if you like,” Ashens offered, and finally turned away from them.

“Thanks,” Phil muttered, turning his back on the men to lead Dan to the other side of the compartment. They settled down tensely for the rest of the ride.

\--

By the time Ashens and his friend were getting off the train, Phil had agreed to get off with them. He and Dan hadn’t talked much the rest of the ride, but from the way Dan had settled in next to Phil, it seemed he had gained a temporary companion. He’d let Dan tag along at least as far as the nearest town, but after that, Phil planned to part ways

He wasn’t a cut throat, but he also didn’t want to feel the pressure of caring for another human being. Already, he’d done all he could to keep the boy safe on the train, but that was about as much as Phil could give.

What was the point of getting attached, anyway?

The sun had begun to rise when Ashens and his friend stood. Ashens had finished with his pipe somewhere around mid morning, but only now was tucking it away. That was all the sign Phil needed, plus the little nod in his direction, to know that they had crossed into Oklahoma. He didn’t know where these men had gotten their information, but it was better than the nothing Phil had had before.

The two men jumped from the train first, doing a duck and roll onto soft grassland. Dan and Phil, meanwhile, wanted to put a little distance between them and the two intimidating men. They waited until they were specks in the distance, and then they took each other’s hands, and jumped.

Phil only let go of Dan when it came to the roll, and he made a soft oof as he landed.

Dan’s jump was a little less coordinated, but neither boy got hurt. They stood carefully, smiled at each other, and began walking.

\--

_December 18, 1933_

Dan hadn't liked the two men who were riding the train with them. There was something about them that seemed _off_. He was glad to take shelter behind Phil's body. Despite how he felt toward most strangers he met, Dan had decided that he genuinely liked Phil. It wasn't often that you met strangers who were kind enough to give you what little they had. So surely there wasn't any harm in sticking around, spending more time in Phil's company.

He was also glad that Phil seemed to feel the same way about the other two men on the train, waiting until they were barely visible in the distance to jump off the train. It was less distance than Dan would have liked, but it was better than walking all together - Dan supposed.

Now Dan's legs were aching slightly from his jump - practically a fall - off of the train. He hadn't actually done it that many times, unlike most boys his age. Phil was walking silently beside him. Despite it being December, the air seemed a little warmer here in Oklahoma. Though, now that he was thinking about it, that was probably just Dan's imagination.

Walking close enough to Phil so that their shoulders would brush together every so often, Dan strained his eyes. There had to be a town coming soon, if they were close enough that they had to jump off the train before it got to the station, but Dan couldn't see anything.

The morning sun was shining down, it's pale rays painting the landscape. Holding a hand to his eyes, Dan looked up at the fluffy clouds in the sky.

If he tried,  he could imagine that he was little once more, spending the day in England. Perhaps he was with his mother again, or his brother. They would look for shapes in the clouds, telling stories, before going to feed the ducks in the pond.

Blinking, Dan drew himself out of the daydream. Reminiscing about his past wasn't going to put food in his belly or give him a place to stay.

He just had to keep walking.

\--

Dan was beginning to think that the man on the train had been wrong. It was growing dark and he and Phil had yet to see a town. Both were reluctant to stop; they had no way of knowing if Ashens and his friend were still behind them. Maybe Ashens wasn't all that bad, but people like that couldn't be trusted.

Then again, Dan wasn't sure that Phil could be trusted either. After all, he didn't really know all that much about the older boy. Maybe it was the fact that his English accent reminded Dan of home, or maybe it was the fact that Phil had willingly given up something of his own - not really common these days, unless you stumbled upon some really, _really_ nice people, but Dan didn't really want to separate from Phil.

Finally, both tired from walking all day, they agreed that they had no choice but to stop. Settling down a little ways away from the train tracks, Dan stretched out on the grass.

The stars were twinkling above him, and Dan tried to remember some of the constellations his father had taught him. He could barely remember any.

Suddenly there was a presence at his side, and Dan looked over to see that Phil had joined him on the grass.

"That's the Big Dipper," Phil said, pointing towards a cluster of stars.

"And that's Orion's Belt," Dan added with a smile.

"Yeah," Phil said softly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both content to watch the sky as it twinkled. The sky was oblivious to the worries of the world below it, the sky didn't care about anyone. Maybe that thought shouldn't have comforted Dan, maybe it should have scared him. But he wasn't scared, and it did comfort him.

\--

_December 18, 1933_

It was comforting, to rest next to Dan in the middle of the night, and point out constellations to one another. It was comforting in a way that Phil hadn’t felt comfort since the last time he’d seen his brother. Maybe that said something about Phil being lonely, but he didn’t want to dwell on the thought when he knew it would be best for him and Dan to part ways the moment they had the chance.

It wouldn’t be fair to ditch the younger boy when neither of them had found work, food, or a place to camp out, though, so he allowed them to spend the entirety of their afternoon together. But despite the comfort of having another living soul laying beside him who at least somewhat knew the names of the constellations, Phil was growing anxious to part ways.

It was too easy to grow attached in a world like today’s - as easy as it was to get separated, and Phil didn’t want that.

Still, he couldn’t help laughing as he corrected Dan on the names of the constellations, teasing him when he came up with something so strange, Phil could never figure out where he’d heard it in the first place.

“Hey, Phil?” Dan asked quietly sometime later, when the stars had grown so bright Phil could only guess it was verging on midnight.

“Yeah, Dan?”

“Thanks for taking care of me, the last couple of days. As much as I’d like to pretend I can take care of myself, I’m not sure I would have made it safely off the train if you hadn’t been there.”

Warm, tanned fingers reached out to grip Phil’s, and Phil let him, squeezing back with a frown on his face, because already, Phil knew he was screwed.

\--

By the next morning, Dan and Phil had found the nearest town. They’d walked for a good three more hours before stumbling upon the first row of farms, and another two before they’d reached the city center. It was at that point, wherein Dan had returned Phil’s hat, where the two boys contemplated splitting ways.

“Thanks again, Phil. I don’t know what I would have done without you,” Dan said, laughing as he reached out and grabbed Phil’s hand to shake it.

“It was no trouble, Dan. I would have done it for anybody, really,” Phil replied. Dan laughed again.

“I know. You just seem the type. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was me, and that I’m thankful, so just accept my gratitude, you spork,” he teased, finally letting go of Phil’s hand. “But I’ll see you around sometime, maybe, yeah? Oklahoma’s a big state, but you never know!” he said. With one final wave, and a bright smile, Dan was turning around and walking away.

Phil watched him anxiously, fighting a mental battle that told him to walk away _right_ _now_ , and another that told him to run after Dan. He bit his tongue to prevent himself crying out, and started to pivot to the right, fully intending to walk away from Dan, but at the last moment, he cursed himself and turned around.

“Dan, wait!” he shouted as he began to chase after the other boy, whose dirty shirt he could still see attempting to disappear into the crowd. The boy didn’t listen, and Phil started running, ducking down and around the people in his way.

“Dan! Stop, hey, wait a minute!” he shouted. “Hey! Dan!” Finally, once Phil had gotten right behind him, Dan turned around with a bemused look on his face.

“Phil? What’s wrong, did I forget something?”

Phil laughed, bending over for a moment to catch his breath as Dan stared at him.

“Yeah, me,” he said.

There was no way his conscious would let him leave such a young boy alone.

\--

_December 20, 1933_

Dan couldn't help but be glad that Phil had become his permanent (well, as permanent as permanent could be) companion. The two of them hadn't found any work the day before, but Dan hadn't lost hope.

If you lost hope, then you were as good as dead.

Besides, if the town wouldn't work out, maybe one of the nearby farm houses would. He mentioned as much to Phil, after yet another house had all but slammed the door in their face.

Phil nodded solemnly. "That's a good idea," he agreed, "farms always need the extra hands."

Dan felt his cheeks warm at the praise, it had been a long time since anyone had considered any idea of his to be good.

Phil glanced around the small town around them, "Maybe we should walk out that way, before it gets too dark."

"Sure," Dan agreed, just glad to actually have some sort of plan. Okay, it wasn't much, but it was more than he'd had in a long time. Usually he just walked in a random direction and prayed someone had some sort of job.

\--

Perhaps Dan had spoken too soon, the first few farms hadn't wanted any help, and each property seemed larger than the last. It wasn't long before the town had faded into the background.

The two boys were walking side by side, their arms brushing sometimes as they walked. For the beginning of the walk, they had both filled the silence with pointless talk, but now they were both silent. The silence was comfortable, though, not tense or heavy. Phil was comforting in that way.

"Let's try that house," Phil said, pointing towards a large white farmhouse that was growing closer with every step. The family who had once lived there has obviously made a good living with their farming, but most times houses stood empty, reclaimed by the bank. If nothing else, it would be a safe place to spend the night.

\--

Dan knocked on the hard wooden door quickly, shifting on his feet nervously. For half a second he thought that no one was even going to answer the door. Leaning into Phil subconsciously, Dan forced himself to take a deep breath.

His inner thoughts were proven wrong, however, when the door opened to reveal a young girl. She was maybe a year or two older than him, with a slim build and shoulder length brown hair. Dan couldn't help but observe that she was pretty. Before anyone could open their mouth to speak, a man about the same age appeared behind her.

"What are you boys doing here?" The girl asked.

"Cat," the man hissed, "we shouldn't talk to folk like them."

"Shut your trap, Joey, they can't help that they're down on their luck. We should help them."

Dan watched the exchange with wide eyes, he didn't know these people... and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

\--

_December 20, 1933_

Phil shouldn’t have let Dan knock on that door. As often as he could, Phil would step in front of Dan and do all the talking, not because he didn’t trust Dan, but in an attempt to keep Dan safe. This time, however, he’d needed to take a piss, and had sent Dan along ahead of him. He’d done his business and zipped his pants back up as quick as he could, but by the time he’d caught back up with Dan, the other boy had already knocked. Phil didn’t have the chance to plant himself in front of Dan before two slightly older people opened the door and greeted them.

Eyes narrowed slightly, Phil shifted his weight so, at the very least, he’d be next to Dan. Their meager interaction was already making Phil feel uncomfortable.

“We’re sorry to have bothered you ma’am,” he spoke up, reaching out to touch Dan’s arm comfortingly. “We were just looking for work.”

The girl perked up, sending the man behind her an “I told you so,” look.

“See!”

The man frowned, studying Dan and Phil carefully, but didn’t say anything. The girl turned back to them.

“Sorry about him. We’ve had a lot of people lookin’ to just sleep here, and Joey’s had enough. I don’t mind though. It’s great you’ve come by! We’ve been in pretty desperate need of someone to help us out on the farm!” she said, smile bright and excited.

Phil was still suspicious, and not completely sold on them, but smiled at the girl.

“Guess we’re all pretty lucky then,” he commented lightly, turning his attention back to the man, Joey. “But we’d understand if you couldn’t take on another two mouths to feed -”

“Nonsense! There’s not much meat, since we grow our own food, but from time to time we do trades with the other farms around us. Come in, come in! We could definitely do with two extra hands, so long as you don’t mind surviving on eggs and corn!”

Phil took Dan’s hand as they followed the girl into the house, still eyeing Joey warily. The other man didn’t smile at them, but he did turn to lead them all back into a lounge like area that was much warmer than the outside air. His gaze turned from scrutinizing to bored fairly quickly, while the girl continued to smile.

“Hi! Sorry, I never introduced myself. My name’s Cat! Are you two brothers or something?” she asked, taking in the way Phil was holding onto Dan protectively. Phil hesitated. Should he tell them the truth, or use the same lie he’d pulled on the people in the train a few days ago? It wasn’t uncommon for men to be beaten up for so much as cuddling together at night on the streets, and though Dan was in no way his lover, Phil was wary of being turned away for being outwardly affectionate towards Dan in any way.

“Ah, ye-”

“No, this is my boyfriend,” Dan piped up, cutting Phil off. Startled, Phil turned his gaze from the two people who’d invited them inside, to Dan beside him.

“Dan, what-"

“Oh, that’s wonderful! You’re so cute together. In today’s day and age, it’s great that you found each other!” Cat gushed, smiling warmly at Dan and Phil. She had her hands clasped together in front of her excitedly, to which Phil could do nothing but shut his mouth and nod in agreement.

“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably and tightening his hold on Dan’s hand.

\--

Later, after Joey and Cat had explained how they’d come together a few years ago when Joey’s family stopped being able to care for their own farm and had moved into the house with Cat’s family, Dan and Phil settled down in a bedroom they’d been given to share with a queen sized bed.

Sometime over the course of the few years Joey and Cat had come to know each other, their parents had grown more and more sick. It was a sad story, about how the dust storms, whatever those were, had swung in and brought sickness and disease. Joey’s father had died from the inhalation of dust, while Cat’s father had gone to work in town and had died in the factories. The mum’s, on the other hand, had been slowly withering away from the hard labor they’d been subjected to, without the help of their farm hands which they’d had to let go of once the Depression had hit.

The whole situation had made Phil’s heart ache for them, but at the same time, he was eternally grateful, as they’d offered him and Dan a place to stay.

“Sorry about...you know, before,” Dan piped up, coming out of the en suite bathroom they’d been given with a towel over his head to dry his hair. This was the first proper shower either of them had had in about a year, maybe longer for Dan, and Phil had let him go first.

Phil looked up, thrust out of his thoughts by the sound of Dan’s voice. The sight that greeted him was a bit of a surprise; all cleaned up, Dan had adorably curly brown hair. It looked dried out and long, due to the amount of time between showers, but was undeniably attractive. His skin was a beautiful tanned color, quite the opposite of Phil’s pale skin despite working in the sun most of his life. Dan, to put it lightly, was hot.

Phil hadn’t been expecting that. He mentally shook his head as he tried to remember what Dan had asked him, and then he felt his cheeks start to warm slightly. He was too old to be embarrassed by the fact that Dan had called him his boyfriend.

“Doesn’t matter, I guess,” he said, getting up to take his turn in the shower, hoping Dan wouldn’t notice that he was kind of embarrassed and weirdly attracted to him. “Why, though? We’re not lovers.”

“No,” Dan agreed, flushing lightly. “But I figured. Well. I know it was stupid, but when they asked us, I wanted to make sure...I didn’t want to be in a homophobic home,” he admitted.

Phil cocked his head. Before he could stop himself, he asked, “Why would it matter? It’s not like there’s much time for romance, these days. And besides, it’s just a warm place to stay. Isn’t that more important than avoiding homophobia?”

“Yeah,” Dan replied, hanging his head. “I guess.”

His brown fringe fell into his face, covering his eyes, but Phil sensed he’d said the wrong thing. Feeling bad about it, Phil made to move towards Dan.

“Dan, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -”

“No, it’s fine Phil. Go take your shower,” he said, dismissive, so Phil did.

\--

_December 20, 1933_

Dan had tried not to dwell on what Phil had said, really, he had. Yet the other boy's voice was still running through his head. He knew, of course he _knew_ , that it was stupid. After all, even if someone was homophobic, he shouldn't be complaining about them letting him into their home.. it just.... didn't feel right. He had tried to stay at a house like that before, and it hadn't ended well. He wasn't in any particular hurry to repeat the experience.

He could hear Phil shuffling around in the bathroom, and Dan wasn't sure he wanted to talk to the other boy right now, so he headed back downstairs instead. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked, whistling softly. The farmhouse was nice, but obviously in shabby shape compared to what it must have looked like before.

Cat was setting the table when he walked onto the main floor, he could see her through an open doorway. Joey was nowhere to be seen, but Dan didn't let the lack of the other boy's presence worry him.

Cat looked up and smiled at him as he walked into the dining room, sitting at one of the chairs.

"You cleaned up," she said with a laugh.

Dan nodded, "I haven't taken a real shower in forever," he said.

Cat frowned. "People shouldn't have to live like that," she muttered, obviously not meaning for Dan to hear.

He did hear, of course, but pretended not to for both their sakes.

"Are you hungry?" Cat asked suddenly, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen over them.

"Yes," Dan said, a little sheepishly. He always hated taking food from anyone before he had done any work to deserve it. He hated pity.

"Joey's grabbing some water from the well outside, then I was gonna make a nice stew for everybody."

"Sounds delicious," Dan said, though their conversation was interrupted by the slamming of a door.

"Cat!" Joey called from wherever he was, "grab the towels!"

"Shit," Cat cursed softly, before rushing into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Dan asked, his eyes flickering to Cat.

"Dust storm," she said. "We have to use towels to keep the dust from getting under the doors. Go make sure all the windows are latched."

Dan nodded, before moving to follow her instructions.

\--

Phil had come down in the middle of all of the commotion, though Dan barely paid him any attention as he worked on latching the large front windows.

When all the work was done, and Joey had gotten fresh candles out of the cellar, Dan finally asked the question that had been bugging him.

"It was clear when Phil and I were walking, is this storm just coming out of nowhere?"

Joey answered, "I don't know what started these dust storms but they come fast and they come hard. Look out the window now, you can see it."

Dan glanced out of the window, and sure enough he could see what looked like a large brown cloud in the distance, though it was obviously getting closer as they watched.

For half a second, Dan considered burrowing into Phil's shoulder, but he resisted since he was still slightly mad. Shifting slightly closer to Cat instead, who was sitting next to him on the floor, Dan tried to ignore the pit in his stomach as the storm grew closer.

\--

When the storm finally came, it was with loud winds that threatened to tear the windows off their hinges. It was easily one of the most terrifying nights of Dan's life, and he had had plenty.

The silence after it had passed felt eerie and unnatural, the roar of the wind still ringing in Dan's ears.

He was still sitting in the living room, studying the now blue sky. Cat and Joey had gone to bed, or said they had. Dan suspected Joey wouldn't sleep until he was sure Dan and Phil had; after all, they were still strangers. He wasn't sure where Phil was, but the question was answered a few seconds later.

Phil sat on the windowsill next to him, and studied him with wide blue eyes before he spoke, and when he did, his voice was sad. "Are you mad at me?"

\--

_December 20, 1933_

Phil’s eyes were wide and worried as he waited for Dan to answer him. The house was dark, now that Joey had put out all the candles he’d retrieved before the storm, but Phil could see Dan’s face cast in shadow from the moon. His eyes seemed sad, and for the first time, Phil saw the years put on Dan from his time on the streets.

It was unnerving. He was used to seeing Dan as just a sweet kid, happy and go-lucky, the way he should be if it weren’t for the depression. His heart ached for Dan.

“Maybe a little,” Dan finally admitted, after a while. Unsurprised, Phil nodded, turning away so his back rested against the thick glass of the window they sat in.

“It’s about what I said before, isn’t it?” he asked, voice quiet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it quite the way it came out.”

Dan didn’t answer. For a while, they both just sat there, ruminating in their own thoughts. Phil wasn’t used to being so concerned with other people’s opinions of him anymore. It had been so long since he’d even remotely cared about another person - even the lovely family that had taken him in before hadn’t bothered to truly know him. He’d never had to concern himself with avoiding insulting them.

But with Dan, it was different. He was the young ward Phil had been unable to abandon, and he was quickly becoming the only person Phil had in this world. The only person that mattered, other than himself.

He had to fix this.

Turning so he was once again facing Dan, Phil reached out and took his hand, lacing their fingers together comfortingly. The casual affection was normal, now, and Dan didn’t resist.

“I’m not homophobic, if that’s what you were thinking. That’d be a bit hypocritical, considering I swing both ways,” Phil admitted. Dan turned to Phil, eyes boring into Phil’s. He gulped.

“I mean...I just meant, I’m not used to caring, or having to care, what other people think of me. All I’ve cared about for the past few years is surviving. Having a full stomach and a warm place to lay my head was of a higher concern than what the opinions of the people I lived with were. I understand that’s not the same for everyone, and clearly not with you, so I’m sorry. For hurting you. And for the record, I don’t mind pretending to date you,” he added with a soft chuckle, smiling at Dan in the hopes that Dan would finally grace him with that sweet smile again.

He did, eyes brightening and dimple popping.

Before they went to bed, Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder like nothing bad had ever happened, and that’s when Phil knew everything was going to be okay.

\--

_January 14, 1934_

They’d been with Joey and Cat for almost a month, now. The New Year had come and gone, and Dan and Phil had both lived through no less than seven more dust storms. They came with alarming frequency, rolling in faster and faster each time. Joey began to judge how bad they would be by judging the darkness of the rolling storm. More often than not, they were major, and lasted hours on end, dragging with them more dirt and crops than any of them could anticipate.

Quickly, Dan and Phil learned why the majority of the farms they’d passed on their journey to Joey and Cat’s had been abandoned. It hadn’t properly rained in nearly 4 years, and when it did, it was more of a sprinkle than anything else. Joey and Cat, to say the least, had been lucky their farm wasn’t so big.

Most of the time, Dan and Phil were sent lugging buckets of water from a nearby well to water the crops, and even then, their offering was meager. They had to conserve what they had, which meant one bucket sometimes had to spread over a quarter of an acre.

Meanwhile, the supply of corn in the cellar was beginning to run thin from last year’s yield, and the chickens were slowly dying off. Of the twenty or so chickens that Dan and Phil had seen upon their original arrival, there were twelve left. Their only rooster had died, and they were waiting to borrow another farmhand’s in an attempt to raise more chickens in the future, but until then, they were rationing eggs as well.

Joey and Cat expressed their fear that they wouldn’t have enough chicken feed to raise another dozen chicks, but Phil promised he’d worked with the chickens before, and would do what he could in the future.

In the meantime, though, Joey and Cat mostly left Dan and Phil alone in the fields. They worked at different ends, and made their way inward as the day wore on, leaving the two boys to quickly form a friendship like they’d never had before.

A warm feeling towards Dan had began to blossom in Phil’s stomach, but he waved it off as being nothing more than affection.

They talked; sometimes for hours on end, without stopping. Phil had once thought it would have made him more exhausted while they worked, but surprisingly, it kept his spirits up. He spent more time laughing with Dan than he did anything else, though at times, their conversation could turn to more morose things. Dan was prone to mental crises that bordered on depressive thoughts that Phil often had to pull him out of, but it was nice.

It was nice to see all the sides of Dan, of another person, for once.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, when the two would come home with a warm flush in their cheeks, Phil would catch Cat looking at them with a little smirk on her face, and Phil would blush, looking away. He almost wanted to say “it’s not like that,” but he couldn’t, because in Cat’s mind, it really was.

Still, it embarrassed Phil more for the fact that he wouldn’t _mind_ that with Dan, than the fact that Cat was thinking lewd thoughts about him and the boy he now considered his best friend. Phil never acted on those thoughts, though, even at night when Dan would burrow into him for comfort and warmth. Phil kept the line drawn in the metaphorical sand, because he didn’t want to push away the only person in his life now that actually mattered.

In the end, life was better now than it ever had been before.

\--

_February 24, 1934_

Dan's life had finally settled into a routine, and for once, he wasn't worried about it. He knew that Joey and Cat probably couldn't afford to keep he and Phil on forever, but it was easy to pretend that they never had to leave. Working the fields was hard, and hot, and most days he hated it, but without those plants and animals (or what remained anyway) they would all be dead.

That helped to put it in perspective.

Even though it was winter, the sun would still beat down, and the wind would carry huge dust clouds for miles. These were facts of life now, as sure as the sun rising in the east.

It had been close a couple of times, but Dan and Phil were always able to make it into the house before the storms hit. Dan didn't like to think about what might have happened if either or both of them were caught outside.

Today was the same as any other day, Cat was working inside the house, mending a pair of Joey's pants, or maybe cooking dinner. Joey had gone into town to try and trade old baby clothes he had found while cleaning out the attic. He was hoping for a chicken, but Dan knew he would settle for a loaf of bread.

Phil was at the other end of the field, lugging a large bucket of water to the plants while Dan weeded.

He would have hundreds of tiny cuts on his hands by the end of the day, but this, too, was common.

Humming softly to himself, Dan focused on making sure not to accidentally pull out any of the plants - Cat would _kill_ him.

He felt the air change before he saw it, felt the wind pick up. Shielding his eyes from the blinding sunlight, Dan squinted into the distance before cursing softly.

Standing quickly, Dan waved his arms, trying to catch Phil's eye, but the other boy wasn't looking at him.

"Phil!" He shouted, but the wind tore his voice from his throat. Luckily the other boy happened to glance up, maybe to check on Dan, or maybe because he had finally felt the change in the wind.

A brown cloud was rolling in the distance, looking like something from an old black and white film Dan had seen as a child, or maybe something out of a nightmare.

Phil took off running toward Dan, who was, luckily, closer to the house. Dan, however, was frozen in his spot - unable to take his eyes off of the approaching cloud. He had seen them before of course, but for some reason his limbs were locking up and he felt like he couldn't move. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dan could feel Phil tugging on his hand, and Dan forced himself to move but it felt like his legs were moving through molasses.

"Dan, come on," Phil called, though Dan could barely hear him over the roaring wind.

The house was inching closer, but they were moving so slow and the storm was coming so close. It was close enough now that the dust was burning his eyes, and making Dan cough.

He wasn't sure how they managed it, but somehow he and Phil made it into the house. Cat was holding the door shut, as they collapsed into a heap onto the floor.

Their clothes were covered in the dirt, and Dan felt like his throat was made of sandpaper, but they were alive.

However his respite was short lived by Cat interrupting, "What the hell were you thinking?" She demanded, "you could have been killed!"

\--

After the incident, Dan and Phil were always much more careful about working in the fields, keeping a closer eye on the sky.

They still had a couple of close calls, but, for the most part, they were okay.

\--

_March 27 1934_

March arrived quickly, with Dan and Phil becoming quick masters of farm work, chicken breeding, and storm avoiding.

Well, for the most part.

Following the incident in late February, where-in Dan had nearly gotten trapped in a dust cloud, Phil had become much more protective of him. He rarely went far from Dan in the fields, even when they were working on completely different things, just in case another storm rolled in that caused Dan to freeze, rather than run.

He knew he didn’t have to baby Dan, and saw the unhappy looks Dan sent him from time to time, but the fact of that matter was that Dan was the closest person Phil had ever been too. It didn’t help that relationships like theirs were even more rare now than before, nor did it help that Phil was desperate to stay together.

He’d mused over that realization for a long time. He couldn’t bare the thought of being separated from Dan, even if it meant a better chance in the world for both of them. He’d grown incredibly attached to the other man, and it was only partly due to the fact that Dan was the only person left in Phil’s life. It hadn’t taken Phil long to realize he was falling in love.

What a stupid thing to do when people were literally fighting for their lives; fighting for food, water, a place to stay, and work. But Phil hadn’t been able to help it. Dan was too endearing, and sweet. He shared all the hopes and dreams that Phil did, and had loved nothing more than listening to music and playing games back in England before all of this had happened. Phil knew that, whatever life had been destined to throw at him, one of those things had been going to lead him to Dan.

Dan was it for him, even if it that was dramatic to say. Phil didn’t care that he was basically alone in the world, or that anyone would tell him his feelings were nothing more than a longing for what they could no longer have in this day and age - romance - he knew his feelings, and he knew his heart. He knew Dan, and he knew that, no matter how they would have met in the world, the outcome would have been the same.

But Phil wasn’t going to tell Dan.

So he let the other male glare at him from time to time when he felt like Phil was being too protective, and he pretended in the mornings that he’d rolled over and cuddled Dan in his sleep by accident, and not because he’d been searching for affection.

He let Dan believe that Phil was just an overprotective best friend, and left it at that.

\--

“PHIL!” A voice screeched, pulling Phil from his sleep. He sat up immediately, disoriented as he felt around on the bed for Dan. The other male wasn’t there.

“PHIL! THERE’S A DUSTSTORM ROLLING IN, WE’VE GOTTA SECURE THE HOUSE!”

Suddenly wide awake, Phil jumped from the bed and rushed out of his room, only to turn back around to secure his own window to make sure no dust could get in. Then he was rushing into the living room, finding Joey and Cat scrambling around the house with large towels in their hands. The light was just creeping in over the horizon, letting Phil know their day had just been about to start. Dan hadn’t woken him up, so Phil assumed the other male had gotten up early to start the day without him.

As he scrambled to help Joey and Cat, staring at the darkest dust cloud he’d seen yet rushing their way, he asked “Where’s Dan?”

Cat didn’t stop moving as she responded “I thought he was with you?”

Shaking his head, Phil replied “No,” as his heart began to start racing. Where was Dan?

“Joey, have you seen Dan?” Phil asked, eyes wide and terrified as Joey rushed past him. Phil had stopped moving.

“No, but if you don’t get your ass into gear, we’re gonna be eating dust, so move it!” Joey responded. Phil did, eyeing the windows as he moved and praying that Dan was somewhere inside of the house. Maybe he was in the shower? That could be a safe place for him, for now.

Rushing around the house, Phil locked the front and back doors, making certain they were both completely shut before he shoved towels into any slits the dust could get through. His fingers were stiff from being woken up in such a rush, but he managed just in time.

As the dust cloud rolled through, darkening their house, Phil saw Dan through the window.

His heart nearly stopped as he watched the boy with terrified eyes. He was crouching in the chicken coop with an old towel pressed over his face, ducked low under the little awning as he tried to withstand the storm. He wasn’t looking at Phil. He wasn’t looking at anything. His fingers were tangled in the metal wire of the chicken coops to hold him in place.

“DAN!” Phil shouted, slamming his fists against the glass of the back door. “DAN! DAN’S OUTSIDE, CAT, JOEY, PLEASE!” he screamed, feeling tears began to roll down his cheeks as he tried to work his stiff fingers at the locks.

Two figures appeared beside him as he pulled one towel free, and he thought Cat and Joey were going to help him, but they each grabbed one of his arms in each of their own, and pulled him back.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DAN’S TRAPPED OUTSIDE IN THE STORM, WE HAVE TO HELP HIM!” Phil shouted, trying to wrench free from their hold as the tears kept coming, slowly turning into sobs in his throat. He couldn’t hear Cat and Joey over the roar of the storm or his own pulse in his ears, but he knew they were speaking to him as he stared out the little window at Dan.

Dan was looking at him, squinting through the storm, with a look of apology on his face, and Phil could do nothing to help him.

\--

The storm finally passed over them, and Joey and Cat let Phil go. He was out the back door in moments, pulling Dan safely into his arms. He’d watched the other man pass out from lack of clean air, but had only now been able to get to his side.

He felt no ill will towards Cat and Joey. He understood that if they’d let him open that door, they would all be in the state Dan was in, but that didn’t change the fact that he was heartbroken.

“Let’s get him inside,” Joey said quietly from behind Phil, startling him. He jumped, and hiccuped, but nodded his head.

\--

_March 27 1934_

When Dan woke up, his throat felt scratchy and raw, but all he could process was the fact that he was _alive_. When he had been outside in that chicken coup, all he could think about was how he had never gotten to say goodbye. Now he didn't have to say goodbye.

Dan couldn't help but feel like he had been given a second chance. He intended to make the most of it.

Blinking his eyes open, Dan squinted against the sudden brightness that assaulted him.

"He's awake," a voice said, sounding almost breathless. Phil, of course it was Phil.

"Hey," Dan tried to say, though his voice was hoarse.

"Here, drink some water," Phil commanded, pushing the cool glass against his lips. Dan drank it eagerly, letting the cool water refresh and rejuvenate him.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Phil said suddenly, setting the now empty glass on the nearby table before he drew Dan into his arms, "I thought I lost you."

"I'm right here," Dan muttered, but he wasn't sure that Phil heard him.

\--

"I'm glad you're okay, Dan," Cat said later, as she helped him set the table. He really was feeling much better, and was able to walk around without feeling faint. Honestly, the only reason he had felt so bad in the morning was because he had hit his head after he had passed out in the chicken coup. Other than a raging headache, he was fine.

Phil was on the other side of the table, but he glanced up to smile at Dan after Cat spoke.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Dan replied, but his brown eyes never left Phil's blue ones.

He saw Cat smile at the two of them, before she left the room. But Dan was hardly paying her any attention.

"Hey, Dan," Phil started, moving around the table so that he was standing close enough for Dan to touch, "come here." He held out his hand, and Dan threaded his fingers through Phil's, allowing the older boy to all but drag him out of the room.

"Where are we going?" Dan asked with a laugh.

"You'll see," Phil said, shooting Dan a grin.

\--

"Phil, this is amazing," Dan said, looking around the little barn. The inside was usually a mess, but Phil had obviously cleaned it.

"Do you like it?" Phil asked, suddenly looking almost shy.

Dan did. There was a bench pressed against one of the walls with books stacked on top of it. On the other side of the barn, an old desk and chair had been set up to give the little barn the appearance of being an office.

"I know you like to read and stuff," Phil said, rubbing the back of his neck, "and I just thought that you deserved something nice..."

"Phil," Dan cut in, before the other boy could start babbling, "it's perfect."

"That's good," Phil replied, looking relieved, but that quickly faded back into nervous, "but, um, I actually wanted to ask you something."

\--

_March 27, 1934_

Phil could feel his heart racing all over again as Dan looked at him curiously, eyes wide and serious as he waited for Phil to continue with his statement. He’d been so scared, when Dan had passed out, that Dan wouldn’t wake up again. Cat and Joey had explained how that was often what happened when the dust storms took a life - the person went to sleep, and never woke up again.

So, to prevent another scare like that from happening again, Phil had cleaned up the barn with Cat and Joey’s permission. It was a safe place to escape too if the dust storm came in to fast, or if any person in the house was separated from the rest of the group and got locked out as Dan had been.

In addition to that, Phil knew how much Dan valued being alone, from time to time, especially when they shared a room. Phil was a fussy sleeper, and couldn’t stand the flickering light of a candle when he was trying to sleep. Dan, on the other hand, sometimes needed to read before bed to calm his nerves, and that meant using up their store of candles long into the night. Now, with the barn tricked out to keep everyone safe from the dust storms, and converted into a mini study, Phil hoped Dan would be happy.

But that wasn’t what had left him so nervous. He’d nearly lost Dan that night. The people they were living with already thought they were dating. The world felt like it had come to an end economy wise. What was left in the way of Phil confessing his feelings to his best friend?

“I’m in love with you,” he blurted out, before he could stop himself. His hands were shaking at his sides as he waited for Dan to take in his words, and respond.

The other boy looked stunned. His eyes had immediately widened, and his jaw had dropped open. Phil couldn’t be sure whether that was a bad thing or not. He waited. And waited.

“Dan-” he started to say, only to be cut off.

“Do you mean that?” Dan asked, his voice quiet.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Phil nodded his head.

“Yeah. I really do.”

They were silent. Dan was staring at Phil like a deer caught in headlights, and it didn’t take long for Phil to see tears starting to gather in Dan’s eyes. Horrified, Phil lifted his hands.

“Dan, no, please don’t cry,” he begged. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mea-”

A pair of warm lips cut off Phil’s words, and he gasped into the kiss, eyes wide in surprise. Dan’s brow was furrowed in concentration as tears dripped down his cheeks, but it was clear he wanted nothing more than to kiss Phil, so Phil allowed his own eyes to flutter closed as he reached up and pressed the palms of his hand’s to Dan’s cheeks.

Dan was kissing him like his life depended on it; his tongue had pushed past Phil’s lips almost immediately, running along the inside seam of his lips before delving forward. Quickly, Phil was urged to respond, tangling his tongue with Dan’s in a heated mess of want and desire.

Phil felt like he was on fire, and Dan was the one heating him up.

Gasping again, he pulled away, eyes fluttering back open to take in Dan’s half lidded gaze.

“Don’t stop,” Dan whispered, and surged back in, immediately taking Phil’s bottom lip between his teeth and suckling gently. He nibbled at the skin, making Phil huff out a breath and move his hands down Dan’s shoulders until they were pressed to his low back. Phil pulled him in, so their hips collided. Dan mewled.

“Dan, wait -” Phil tried to say as he pulled away, but Dan wasn’t listening. Instead, he was pressing further forward, causing Phil to stumble over his own two feet. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor with a panting Dan straddling his hips, and a pain in the back of his head from the collision.

“Sorry,” Dan muttered, moving his lips to the skin of Phil’s jaw and kissing downwards, forcing Phil to tilt his head upward and expose his neck.

“Dan -”

“I love you, too,” Dan murmured, pulling away. His brown eyes were clear, and full of love. Phil’s mouth parted in surprise. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, Phil. I was just - I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same,” he admitted shyly, pushing himself up slightly so he was more properly looking at Phil’s face.

Phil watched him, hands still pressed gently to the soft material of Dan’s shirt. He hadn’t expected this to be the reaction to his confession, but he couldn’t deny that he was enjoying it.

“I let myself believe, when I woke up in the mornings, that you were cuddling me because you felt the same, but I never thought...Fuck, Phil. I love you,” he declared, and then he was surging back in for another kiss. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he complained, pulling away with a giddy smile. Phil could do nothing but smile back.

“Oh, I think I do,” he disagreed and pulled Dan back in for another kiss.

\--

It was a miracle they made it back to their room. It didn’t take long for the heated kisses to cause a certain other reaction in both of their pants, and though the barn floor was uncomfortable, Dan had nearly convinced Phil that they wouldn’t have to move.

Realizing how painful the whole situation was going to be for whoever was on their back, Phil decided against it.

“You’ll thank me when we’re on the bed,” he had teased, dragging Dan back to his feet, and leading him into the house. Joey and Cat were nowhere to be seen - probably trying to give them some privacy. If nothing else had convinced them the two were together, Dan nearly dying certainly had.

They pushed through their bedroom door quickly, Dan’s hands immediately going to the clasp of Phil’s jeans. Phil shut the door behind him, and stepped out of the offending material, pulling Dan’s away as well.

Soon enough, they were both naked on the bed, Dan underneath Phil as they ground against each other. Dan was panting in Phil’s ear as Phil kissed at his neck, trailing wet marks down to his adam’s apple. He sucked at the area gently, loving the way Dan arched his back into Phil’s body, his low whines music to Phil’s ears.

“God, you feel so good against me,” Dan whispered, bucking his hips up against Phil’s erection. Phil moaned out, surprised at the sensation, but enjoying it nonetheless.

“You’re so beautiful,” Phil replied, nuzzling at Dan’s neck and pulling back to kiss him again. Their lips came together again and again, the contact sending wet smacking sounds into the air around them. Their tongues came together as Phil’s hands wandered down Dan’s sides, caressing the soft, tanned skin.

“You’re amazing,” Dan shot back, pulling back from Phil just to grip at his wrists, and roll them over. Phil went with him, gasping as Dan sat up, still holding Phil’s wrists down against the bed with one hand. His gaze very obviously ran up and down Phil’s body, taking him in. Phil squirmed.

“I love you,” Dan murmured.

Smiling, Phil said “I love you, too.”

\--

They made love, for the first time. Having found an old bottle of vaseline in the accompanying bathroom of their room, Phil had spread Dan open for him. The younger male squirmed under his touch, the look on his face telling Phil all he needed to know. Having someone else’s fingers up your arse wasn’t exactly the most pleasurable thing - but then Phil had pressed in at just the right angle, and Dan was arching his back and panting in pleasure.

“There, there, there!” he chanted, rolling his hips down on Phil’s hand. Crooking the three fingers he already had pressed inside, Phil made sure they hit Dan’s prostate over and over again.

“Are you sure about this, Dan?” he asked him, when he was pulling his fingers out and lining himself up.

Dan nodded frantically.

“Please. I want to feel you inside me,” he begged, and that was all Phil needed.

Slowly, he pushed inside, mouth dropping open immediately at the white hot pleasure. Dan was so tight for him, even after the stretching. It felt so good to be inside of him, and Phil almost wanted to thrust straight in without waiting, but he didn’t. It was clear from they way Dan’s face was scrunched up, that he was in pain. Stopping all movement, Phil lifted himself up and looked down at his best friend.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he murmured, leaning down to press soft kisses to the skin of Dan’s neck in an attempt to distract him. “I can stop, we can stop. I don’t want to hurt you Dan -”

“Don’t stop,” Dan replied through gritted teeth, pushing his hips downwards and forcing Phil further in. Moaning lowly, Phil bit his bottom lip.

“I don’t want to hurt you -”

“Keep going!” Dan practically shouted, so Phil did. He kept inching in as slow as he possibly could, until he was as far in as Dan’s body would take him. Panting from the effort of holding back, Phil went back to pressing kisses to Dan’s neck, reaching down with one hand to fist Dan’s erection in his hand. He nearly wanted to stop all over again when he found that Dan had begun to go soft.

“Please, Dan,” Phil tried to say, running his thumb through Dan’s slit. He could feel how much he was sweating, and as amazing as it felt to be buried in Dan, the last thing he wanted was for it not to be good for Dan.

Through gritted teeth, Dan demanded “Move.”

Phil shook his head. “Not yet,” he said, and pressed his lips to Dan’s. He could taste the younger male's tears on his tongue, but he pushed the realization away, trying to make Dan feel pleasure instead of pain. He worked his hand faster on Dan’s cock, and pressed his tongue into his mouth hotly. They were both panting as Phil tried to work Dan, rocking hips gently and finding that he was actually able to push in deeper.

Dan’s legs wrapped around his waist.

“I love you,” Dan said, “I love you so much.”

Nodding his head, Phil said, “Me too.”

Finally, finally, Dan began to cry out in pleasure. The first sound was muffled against Phil’s lips, who pulled away immediately out of fear that Dan was trying to tell him to stop. The gentle rocking of his hips had increased in tempo over the last few minutes, without Phil’s conscious knowledge, but when he stopped the movement, Dan whined in displeasure.

“Don’t stop,” he whimpered again, only this time, it was clearly from pleasure.

Taking that as his official go ahead, Phil began rocking his hips in earnest. Dan’s body was rocking back against him, taking him more and more. Phil could feel Dan’s body squeezing down around him, and could do nothing but moan. His muscles ached with the effort of holding back, but soon enough, he was properly pulling out and thrusting back in.

Small whines of pleasure pulled from Dan’s throat, quiet enough that Phil could hear the slap of their skin over the sound, but loud enough Phil knew Dan wasn’t faking it. His brows were furrowed again, and his eyes clamped closed, but it was clear it was out of pleasure. His fingers were clenched tight around the covers below them, and hips were rocking up.

Phil knew it the moment he found Dan’s prostate again. The man shouted, whole body tensing up and back arching into Phil’s. Aiming to hit it again, Phil pulled back, and slammed back in, mentally cheering when he felt Dan’s whole body shaking. Small “Yes, yes yes’s,” were filling up the room around them as Phil continued to fuck Dan, hitting his prostate with nearly every thrust forward.

“I’m gonna-” Dan tried to say, gasping as his eyes fluttered open.

“Me too,” Phil assured him, cupping his cheek with one hand, and leaning in to kiss him. Phil felt it the moment Dan came, swallowing his moan of pleasure, and shuddering at the feeling of Dan tightening around him.

It only took a few more thrusts for Phil to come too, and a few more for him to ride it out, one hand still working at Dan’s spent cock until the other male batted it away.

They collapsed together, exhausted.

\--

_April 1, 1934_

It had only been a few days. A few days of cuddling in bed together every night, sharing lazy kisses and gentle caresses of each other’s bodies. They hadn’t had sex again, but Dan figured Phil didn’t mind. The man never complained, at least.

It was April Fool’s day, however, and though a part of Dan feared what he was about to do might be cruel, he couldn’t pass up the chance to trick his boyfriend.

Phil was fast asleep in their bed, laying flat on his back and snoring gently as Dan creeped back into the room, freshly showered, and completely naked. Slowly, he pulled the blankets off of his best friend, and stripped him of his pants as gently as possible in an attempt to avoid waking him up. Once the plan was set up, he climbed into bed, settling down into Phil’s arms, and waiting for the other man to embrace him.

The second he did, he started shouting.

“What the hell, Phil!? Why are we naked!? _Why are you cuddling me!?”_ Dan shrieked, yanking himself away from a suddenly very alert and terrified Phil.

“Wha- what?” Phil asked, eyes glassy and sleep filled. “What’s going on. Dan?”

“What did you do to me last night!?” Dan screamed, pushing Phil away from him when the other man reached for him, and grabbing for the sheets to cover his lower body. He stared disapprovingly at Phil. “Did we have sex?”

“Dan? What are you talking about?” Phil asked, voice husky, just the way Dan liked it to be.

“I’m sorry, Phil, but whatever happened last night was a mistake. We’re just friends. Best friends, but that’s it,” Dan insisted, eyes hard as he glared at Phil.

That seemed to get Phil’s attention. He’d been rubbing at his eyes in confusion, but the moment the words were past Dan’s lips, he froze. As his hands lowered, Dan saw confusion and hurt swimming in the soft blue he loved so much.

“What - what do you mean?” Phil asked. “I thought...I mean. It’s only been a few days, do you regret it already?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Phil, but I think you need to go get sobered up.” At that point, Dan was holding back giggles, and the urge to reach out and soothe his best friend. Phil looked so horrified, and so confused, as he stood up, suddenly realizing that he was 100% naked. Flushing, he grabbed a pillow off the bed, and covered himself up as he stared, wounded, at Dan.

Unable to take it anymore, Dan burst into laughter.

“April fools!”

“Dan! I hate you!”

“No you don’t. You love me.”

\--

_May 12, 1934_

It was raining softly, and normally Dan hated the rain, but he found that for once in his life he couldn't complain. Not only was it watering the long dry fields, but the rain reminded him of home, of England.

He mentioned as much to Phil one day when they were in the barn, hiding out in Dan's little library, letting the rain patter against the tin roof.

"You're right," Phil nodded, then he looked a little... sad, "it makes you miss it, doesn't it?"

"Maybe a little," Dan admired, "but I've still got my own little piece of home."

"Oh yeah?" Phil asked, looking curious.

"You," Dan said with a little laugh, "with your funny northern accent and how you call pants trousers and how your eyes remind me of how they sky used to look when I went on trips to the country."

Phil smiled, stepping closer so that he could wrap his arms around Dan, "you really feel that way?"

"Of course I do. You're my home now."

\--

_June 6, 1934_

The summer sun was hot, beating against Dan's back as he carried heavy buckets of water to the fields. The already dry ground was even drier now, thanks to the summer sun bearing down almost all day long.

His back was streaked with sweat and he had sores on his hands from the wooden handle of the bucket.

Dropping the bucket with a sigh, Dan turned to make sure that Phil was still walking behind him, only to be met with a face full of water.

"What the hell, Phil?" Dan asked, though without any real heat, as he wiped the water out of his eyes.

"You looked like you needed to cool off," Phil responded seriously, before promptly bursting into laughter, "you should have seen your face."

"Well I'm about to see yours," Dan responded, and before Phil could react, Dan picked his bucket back up and launched to contents onto the other boy.

"It's on now," Phil called, as he raced back towards the well.

Laughing for the first time in what felt like ages, Dan followed Phil towards the well. He had no doubts that he could reach it before the other boy, after all, he had longer legs.

\--

_August 19, 1934_

The weather had turned absolutely miserable. It was a miracle any of them got any work done with the blistering heat and the strong winds that dragged nothing but dust into their faces.

Another dry heat. The rain was sorely missed.

“Phil,” Dan whined, turning his head on the heated floorboards to stare at Phil. Phil matched his movement. Dan’s eyes were so dull, lately.

“What?”

“It’s hot.”

“I know, Bear,” Phil replied, sighing as he turned his head back to stare at the ceiling of their room. He’d picked up on the nickname after Dan had revealed it was what his parents used to call him. A little piece of home.

It reminded him of the tiny bear his brother had given to him, and that he carried with him always.

“Wanna shower?” Phil offered, already pushing himself up off the ground. Dan didn’t answer, and Phil turned to find his best friend gazing blankly at the ceiling. “Dan?” he called.

“What?”

“I asked if you wanted to shower?”

“Together?”

“Together.”

“Okay.”

\--

_September 28, 1934_

It was closing in on Phil’s brother’s birthday, and he was feeling miserable. If there was any one person Phil missed, it was his brother.

 _Two more days_ , Phil thought, gazing out the window in the lounge, settled comfortably in the window seat. Cat and Joey seemed to have sensed Phil’s melancholy mood, because they’d left him alone most of the day.

Dan, on the other hand -

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Phil greeted, turning to smile sadly at Dan.

“I’m sure he’s okay, you know?” Dan said, in an attempt to comfort as he settled down next to Phil. They were so close together, their thighs were brushing.

“I know,” Phil agreed, sighing as he rested his head on Dan’s shoulder. “I just miss him, you know?” he said, shrugging lightly.

“I know,” Dan agreed, reaching up to wrap an arm around Phil’s waist and draw him in close. Lightly, Phil pressed small kisses to the exposed skin of Dan’s neck, just for comfort, before standing up.

“Did I ever show you the bear he bought me for my birthday? It’s the only thing from home I took with me,” Phil explained with a soft grin, offering Dan his hand.

“No,” Dan replied, cocking his head with his own small grin. “I didn’t think you had any personal items.”

Phil laughed.

“Just one, but it’s the most important one to me.”

\--

_October 13, 1934_

The weather had finally cooled down. It wasn’t as disgustingly difficult to cuddle anymore, and Phil was taking full advantage of it. He felt like it had been two whole months since he’d properly been pressed up against Dan.

They were in Dan’s library, again, Phil straddling his boyfriend’s hips, arms wrapped around his shoulders. He was completely ignoring Dan’s complains.

“I came in here to read!”

“And I came in here for some attention,” Phil disagreed, leaning in to peck Dan on the lips lightly

“Phil!” Dan whined, half heartedly trying to push him away. Phil ignored him.

“Come on, Dan. It’s been two months. You’ve had plenty of time to enjoy your books, don’t you want to enjoy me now?” Phil offered, waggling his eyebrows and laughing as Dan made a disgruntled noise.

“Why right _now_ , Phil?”

“Because I want you,” Phil argued, and leaned back in for another kiss. This time, Dan opened up to him, allowing Phil to kiss him long and properly. He grinned as he pulled away, taking in Dan’s slightly dazed look.

Neither one of them really had any experience with relationships or sex outside of each other, but Phil always seemed able to daze Dan.

“See? Wasn’t that _so_ much better than your romance novels?”

“Shut up!” Dan complained, snapping out of it as he pushed Phil off of him, and down onto the floor, so now, Dan was on top of him. “You’re much better than anything else in my life,” he eventually agreed.

And if Phil was blushing, and flushed with pride when Dan leaned back in to kiss him, well. No one had to know.

\--

_November 12, 1934_

Their lives had quickly fallen into an easy pattern, now that they were actually together. Hardly anything actually changed between Dan and Phil other than an occasional kiss in front of Joey and Cat, and even those were rare.

The hardest part of their lives now was the cold that was slowly and steadily creeping into every aspect of their lives. The decreasing temperature was making everything harder, the crops had all but stopped growing, the chicken coup had to be refitted to keep out the cold, and even layers of blankets couldn't keep the inhabitants of the house warm at night.

Today the sun was shining, but it did little to drive away the bitter chill that clung to the air. Dan shivered, rubbing his arms in an attempt to drive away the cold.

Phil was nearby, rewiring the chicken coup. A coyote had broken in the night before and killed two of the chickens. Even the animals were getting hungry.

Forcing himself to tear his eyes away from Phil and the chicken coup, Dan turned back to the garden he was trying to coax back to life, not that it was much use. Hardly any plants would grow this late into the season, especially with the unusually dry ground.

Taking a deep breath, Dan felt the air get caught in his throat as he started to cough. He saw Phil glance at him in concern out of the corner of his eye, but Dan ignored the other boy.

Anytime Dan so much as choked on a sip of water, Phil would glance at him in worry and concern. While Dan knew Phil meant well, it could feel a little overbearing.

Giving Phil a thumbs up so that he'd know he was fine, Dan turned back to the work at hand. They had barely enough to eat as it was, if they didn't get some more crops, and soon, Dan wasn't sure how long Joey and Cat could afford to keep Dan and Phil without everyone starving.

\--

"Hey Phil," Dan said, looking up at the other boy. Dan had his head resting on Phil's chest and Phil was tracing mindless circles into Dan's back.

"Hm," Phil practically hummed, cracking one of his eyes open so that Dan would know he was listening.

"Do you think we should leave soon?"

Phil started up, staring at Dan in shock, "Dan, why would we leave? Joey and Cat are some of the best people on this Earth, if they wanted us to leave, they would have told us a long time ago."

"But how can we all stay here? We'll starve," Dan said nervously, chewing on his bottom lip.

"No we won't," Phil reassured him, kissing the top of Dan's head softly, "we'll figure something out. We always do."

\--

_December 31, 1934_

Things were getting worse. Though the skies refused to let loose any rain on the thirsty ground, the weather remained oppressively cold. The dust storms had slowed in frequency, giving Oklahoma a break in the torture and fear, but it seemed they were growing darker and more alarming in size with each incoming wave. The chickens had long since died, leaving behind a small storage of eggs the four of them had been rationing for the last month.

December was as bleak as ever, and yet, it was Christmas day.

“You really didn’t have to get me anything, Phil! It’s not like we have money to spend as it is -”

“Shush. I wanted to, okay? It’s our first Christmas together, and I wanted it to be special,” Phil disagreed, furrowing his brow at Dan as they sat on their bed together. Cat and Joey had given them all the day off, considering there was little they could do for the barely surviving crops in the front yard.

Knees pressed together, Phil handed over the small, wrapped present he’d gotten Dan, and waited anxiously for his boyfriend to open it.

“I can’t accept this, Phil! I didn’t even get you anything-”

“I don’t care, Dan! Just open it, Please?” Dan continued to stare at Phil with a heartbroken expression on his face, like he couldn’t figure out how Phil had managed to get him anything in the first place, and Phil rolled his eyes.

“Look, it’s nothing new, okay? I didn’t buy it or anything like that. It’s something from my past life. I want you to have it. So please, just open it for me?” he begged, attempted to pull puppy dog eyes on his boyfriend as Dan’s anxious fingers fiddled with the loose wrapping.

Finally, finally, Dan peeled the paper away, though he was still frowning. Cat had given Phil a small box, just big enough to press the present into, that Phil had wrapped, and he was watching anxiously as Dan’s fingers pried the lid off. A soft gasp pulled from Dan’s throat, and he looked up to stare at Phil with wide-eyes.

“No. Phil! No, I can’t accept this!” he decided, immediately shoving the small prize into Phil’s chest.

Phil’s brow furrowed.

“Why not?”

“That means the world to you! I can’t take it from you!” he declared, letting go completely of the box and crossing his arms over his chest. The box tumbled into Phil’s lap, a small, plush bear falling against his legs. Phil picked it up, frowning.

“But I want you to have it,” he said, picking it up and staring forlornly at it.

“Absolutely not, Phil! Your brother gave that to you! It’s the last thing you have from - from - from before!”

Phil shook his head. “I don’t care, Dan. I want you to have it. And it’s not like I’m really losing it, unless you’re planning on going somewhere,” he said, voice small. He’d thought Dan would be excited over the gift. He knew how much the bear meant to Phil. It was the only object Phil had bothered to sneak into America when his mum made him get rid of everything else.

Still, Dan was shaking his head vehemently no, a tortured look on his face.

“That’s your bear, Phil.”

“But I have a new bear, Dan. You.”

A muffled sound slipped out of Dan’s lips, and then strong arms were being wrapped around Phil’s neck. He found himself not being pulled in for a kiss, but rather being pulled into Dan’s chest.

“Dan?”

“Fuck, do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Phil smiled, finally reaching up to wrap his own arms around Dan.

“No, but now I do,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to a clothed shirt, and gripping tight to both his bears.

\--

_January 12, 1935_

It was just after New Years when they finally ran out of food. The storage shed was completely empty, and their crops would no longer yield. Dan had been coughing for three days, and the dust storms had returned with a vengeance.

“Phil,” Cat called, her voice weak and shaky. Phil quickly made his way to her side.

“Joey and I. We were thinking. We’ve got some money saved up, hidden. We could go to town, and buy as much food as we can, but it’s not going to get us very far. We have the truck, and there’s room enough for four people. The town’s been talking. Most of us our thinking, we should head to California. Where the air isn’t so bad, and there’s an actual chance we could grow some food. There’s plenty of farmland in California, and if we take the deed with us, we might even be able to sell our own land for some new land. We were wondering, if you and Dan would come with us?”

With no other options in sight, Phil nodded his head.

“Of course.”

\--

_Jaunary 13, 1935_

They packed their small grouping of belongings quickly, taking as little room as possible in the large truck to insure there would be plenty of room in the truck bed for their stuff, Cat’s and Joey’s, and the food they were bringing. Phil cut out a large cloth to cover the back area and keep the dust out, knowing the dust storms were going to be impossible to avoid on the road. Attached to the ends were long wires from the chicken coop Phil had gotten permission to dismantle and use, and he hoped it would be strong enough to keep the cloth on when the storms hit.

“Phil, are you sure this is a good idea?” Dan asked as he watched Phil work in the small library like room Phil had made for him so long ago.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, is sticking with Cat and Joey the best thing for us? How do we know they won’t just ditch us when they realize how rough it’s going to be in California?”

Stopping what he was doing entirely to look up at Dan, Phil frowned.

“I think...it is the best chance we’ve got. Have they ever steered us wrong? And besides, you said so yourself living with homophobes is the hardest thing in the world. With Cat and Joey, we know they support us. They’ve had our backs for the last few months. The least we could do, is have theirs when things get rough.”

Nodding, Dan still looked skeptical. Phil stood up with a sigh, hearing his back crack loudly as he did so.

“Come here,” he ordered Dan, reaching out to him with open arms. Dan came willingly enough, folding himself into Phil’s arms. “It’s going to be okay, Dan.”

With a small cough, Dan agreed.

“Okay, I trust you.”

They stayed like that for a short while, holding each other and breathing in each other’s scents, until Dan was overtaken by an aggressive and very loud cough. The cough wracked his body so hard, Phil actually began to feel scared as he rubbed circles against him.

“I’m worried about you,” Phil murmured, once Dan was done. Dan sent him a small smile.

“I’m fine.”

\--

_January 14, 1935_

It was crowded in the truck, but somehow just moving steadily away from the farm was slowly easing Dan's nerves. He hadn't wanted to leave; he had had so many good memories at the farm, but now that it was behind him, Dan felt strongly at peace with the whole thing.

Sure, one chapter of his life was closing, but it had been one _hell_ of a ride.

Shifting in his seat, Dan curled up closer to Phil, resting his head on the other boy's shoulder. Phil was looking, watching the acres of flat, brown farmland race by. Phil turned to press a soft kiss to Dan's head and Dan bit his lip so he wouldn't smile like an idiot.

He didn't think that he'd ever really get used to Phil being his. It still sent butterflies twisting in his stomach whenever the other boy so much as looked at him. Reaching forward, Dan grabbed Phil's hand with his own, intertwining their fingers.

Dan thought he saw Cat look at them and smile, but he wasn't sure.

Suddenly Dan felt an all too familiar tickle in the back of his throat, something that had been happening a lot more often than he would like to admit. Turning his head away from Phil, Dan coughed into his elbow, the coughs racking his body and leaving him feeling like he'd just run a mile.

Dan could feel Phil watching him in concern, but he didn't want to look. Dan didn't want to see the worry he knew he would find in those blue, _blue_ eyes. He couldn't take it.

\--

_January 19, 1935_

While the trip had originally felt almost freeing, it was currently feeling stifling. Dan loved Joey, Cat, and Phil. Of course he did. But spending days on end with them stuffed in a tiny car where they stared at him in concern any time he so much as coughed was, frankly, annoying. He knew, of course he knew, that they were just being worried and overprotective, but he could feel his good humor depleting by the second. He didn't want to snap at them, but he didn't want them to look at him like he was horribly ill, either.

Dan stared out the window, trying not to let the fact that Phil's eyes were burning holes into the back of his head bother him.

"Hey, how are you feeling," Phil asked gently, reaching to try to feel Dan's forehead, "you've been coughing an awful lot."

"I'm fine," Dan said harshly, then winced at how cruel his voice sounded. "Really," he added, turning to give Phil a small, apologetic smile, "I'm okay. Probably just a cold."

Phil didn't look convinced, but he nodded, "you're right, I'm being silly."

"Kind of, but it's okay, I like that you're overprotective," Dan assured his boyfriend with a smile before reaching over to kiss him softly on the lips. Joey was concentrating on the road, and Cat was asleep so Dan didn't think they'd mind.

Phil smiled softly at him, obviously glad that Dan's sour mood seems to be improving. "You're cute," he said, pressing his lips to Dan's again.

For once, Dan didn't argue, content to let his head rest on Phil's shoulder and dream about what their future would be like together.

\--

_February 14, 1935_

It happened on February 14th. They were meant to be taking a day off from the road to stretch their legs, and maybe to spend some time apart together. It was a day for lovers, but Cat and Joey planned to fully enjoy it as well, as family. Dan and Phil, on the other hand, had planned on going site seeing, and sneaking off to make out behind abandoned buildings when no one else was around.

They weren’t going to be able to hold hands without being tormented, but they’d both been looking forward to the day nevertheless.

But Dan wouldn’t wake up.

Joey and Cat had been taking turns driving in an attempt to avoid having to stop and park on the road at night, but other groups of people fleeing Oklahoma had had other ideas. To protect each other and their stuff, they’d formed small packs to sleep at night, their cars pressed close together.

Ironically, they were the first people to notice that something was wrong.

Caught in a dead sleep of his own, Phil was awoken by hushed voices. Faces that had began to become a tiny bit more familiar over the last month we’re peering through the windows of the truck, staring straight at Dan. Their gazes were almost guilty.

“What….what are you doing?” he asked, sitting up in a daze. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he looked over to Dan, who they were staring at, and found his boyfriend was flushed red with fever. His eyes were scrunched closed in pain, and he was panting, though he wasn’t awake.

Terrified, all his worst fears coming true, Phil had jumped up and shaken Joey and Cat awake.

“Joey! Joey, Cat, please! Something’s wrong with Dan!”

The small group whose cars were pressed in close to their own dispersed, returning to their own cars, and beginning to drive off, now that everyone was awake. Cat, Joey, and Phil, remained behind.

“Please tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” Phil begged, his voice cracking as he stared at Dan. Cat and Joey were wide awake now, and staring at Dan in despair. They’d told him months, and months, and months ago, that most people who died from the dust storms, died in their sleep. One day, they just didn’t wake up, flushed with fever, until eventually, their heart stopped.

“You have to wake him up, Phil. That’s all you can do. Just wake him up.”

Phil tried, but Dan wouldn’t stir.

They canceled their day out. Hand wrapped securely around Dan’s, Phil mumbled soft words to him the rest of the day. His eyes were wet with tears as he imagined the only person he had left in the world, leaving him. Slipping away because he’d inhaled too much dust from the dust storms.

It had to have been that day he’d been trapped outside, before Phil had built him his library - the library Phil had forced him to leave behind.

It was all Phil’s fault. If he’d just kept a better eye on Dan...

“I love you,” he whispered, desperate to hear the words repeated to him just one last time.

They didn’t come.

“Please, Dan. Wake up.”

\--

_February 18, 1935_

The days moved slower than usual. Joey and Cat directed Phil to force Dan to drink as much water as he could, holding his head up, and convincing his body to swallow. Phil did so. Each time they came to a slow stop, Phil forced more water down his boyfriend’s throat, but he knew they couldn’t escape fate.

With each passing day, his heart broke just a little bit more.

Dan hadn’t eaten in 4 days. The effects were becoming immediately obvious.

Slowly, Phil was being forced to let go.

\--

_February 21, 1935_

“Phil,” Cat called to him, voice soft, and warm.

“What?”

“I know it’s hard, but -”

“I know!”

“Alright. Just. Let us know when you’re ready.”

\--

_February 22, 1935_

On February 22th, they held Dan’s funeral. Phil wouldn’t allow anyone to dig his grave except for himself. Soft words were spoken at the tiny ceremony, and then Phil was left alone to bury him.

“How could you do this to me?”  he asked, voice hoarse, and eyes filled with tears, as he hovered over his dead boyfriend’s body. His limp hand was held tightly in Phil’s own, but he knew he was holding on to nothing.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave,” he mumbled, choking back tears. “How could you leave me all alone in this world?”

He never got his answer.

When he climbed back into the car, it was empty handed. The small bear he’d given Dan on Christmas, and all his meager belongings, were buried with him.

Tears dripping steadily down his face, Phil pressed his cheek to the window, and refused to look back.

\--

_March 18, 1935_

They arrived in California on March 18th.

And Phil had never felt so alone.


End file.
